How to improve communication skills for Introverts and Those on the Spectrum: The Complete Guide
find your power tone, literally, the vibration of your voice that is most authentic. Say mmhmmm, like you do when you completel;y agree with something. That vibration is your powertone, that is your range.
I think we might have made an unfortunate turn. Let’s stop, take a u-turn and get back on track.
Let’s stop, regroup, and pause, and I will see you again in 5 minutes so we can get back on track.
Danger phrases”Can we change the subject? I am not comfortable talking about that. ” Don’t say that. Use navigational phrases instead. We are used to them, they are simple, and they let us get where we want to be.
If a negaholic says: I hate these conferences, I use them as naptime, say: I do love extra naps, and it seems every year of my life I want extra naps, so I see what you mean.”Grab on to one thing that you can agree with and focus on that.
“I have to agree that”
The back of the arm, the shoulder, the elbow are the safe zone.
Crossed arms or scratching the back of neck means someone is uncomfortable with what you say. Use an exit phrase and leave. If they do want to talk to you, they will seek you out. And if they really don’t want to talk to you, they will be more likely to want to talk to you in the future, because they know you will leave when they are through.
The feel-felt-found saved Mary Kay.
Duck tape closing phrase: If I can you this, will be willing to give me that?
A phrase like: it is difficult for me to see, is better than: I disagree.
Instead of don’t sit there, say sit here,
Transition away from taboos.
Only say nice things about others.
Transitional phrases: That reminds me, By the way.
Exit phrases. I hope that I can talk to you again before the evening is out.
You want to leave when things are going well.
It was really nice talking to you, enjoy the rest of the evening.
When you are done saying them walk away.
The surprise PGC, mention something they said before.
HOW TO GET MORE RESPECT AT WORK Without Playing any Games, Kissing any Ass, Or Taking any Crap Here’s what you’ll learn:
The TOP 3 INCREDIBLY COMMON MISTAKES EVERYBODY MAKES when trying to gain respect at work, and why they won’t work for you either (Hint: You’re probably doing mistake #1 right now.)
The real reason people aren’t listening to your ideas, but are fawning all over that other guy who said the same thing as you did right after you like he’s some kind of genius.
My 3-step framework for dramatically changing the impression others have of you so shockingly fast that no matter how much I warn you, you’ll be flabbergasted when you start seeing real results the very first day.
How to Communicate with Power & Persuasion | COMPLETE Communication Skills Webinar Don; t say: where are you from, but say tell me about where you are from, tell me about your job. What do you think about, how do you feel about, tell me about.
By the way connects any thought to any other thought. If someone goes on and on, repeat something they say, and add: By the way, that reminds me I have to call my husband. It was so nice talking to you! Have a wonderful rest of the evening!
If someone shows passively that they are not agreeing with you, ask a clarifying question, like “Mark, are you trying to say that you don’t think that’s a good idea?”
That way you are not rewarding the behavior by letting it pass or engaging in the same underhanded communication, which to them, is also a reward.
“Are you trying to distract from my message because you don’t like it? because that’s what it looks like that’s what you are trying to do.”
Over half the time objections are false objections.
Don’t engage but evaluate if it is a real objection by asking”How important is it to you.”
Use the porcupine:
Address the question, move away from it, and offer a solution.
“If I do this, will you do that?”
Whole porcupine:
How important is that to you?
Answer very important.
If I were to show you x will you then be willing to do y?”
Use an empathy phrase to deal with a winer.
“O I understand why that can be so frustrating,” That gets them unstuck and you can go back to the message at hand.
End a talk with a specific instruction at a specific place and at a specific time.
When people are emotionally out of control, match their emotion with a different emotion, so you appeal to the right brain half they are coming from,
So if someone is very angry , you may be very inquisitive.
If someone is very upset, you may be very apologetic.
Match the level emotion with a different emotion.
Respond, don’t react.
Don’t keep responding, instead repeat: the broken record.
1.Don’t take the bait
PEC: Personal Emotional Connection
Presentation
1.Argue against your own argument
2.Use exact numbers
3. Cite other research. People
4.Don’t be too perfect. Being authentic is more important.
5. Use tag questions at least every 3 minutes.
6.. Speak to a group as you talk to 1 person.
7.Tilt your head to show you are listening, engaged and empathetic.
8.Use the steeple with atilt at the most important part of the message.
9. Remove physical and visual bariers between you and those you communicate with.
10. Point hands like yopu are holding a stack of books
11.Pregnant pause emphasizes point.
12.a.Let’s see if I have your question correct
b. repeat and use the same word afain.
c. Ask for confirmation: will that work for you?
13.a validate, generalize,respond. Feel, felt, found. If you can just give me a chance.
How to be Respectful Without Being Submissive–Live Q&A With Dan O’Connor DESC: Describe, Explain, Say what you are going to do and what the Consequences are. Feel-Felt-Found https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srmxeeaXMaM
Communication Skills Tips And Tricks: How to tell people to shut up, they’re rude, or you hate them. Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said now? Does this need to be said by me?
When I see you doing x,y,z, it appears hostile to me.
Say that instead of saying someone is hostile, because that will only start their self talk.
How to stand your ground–Live–Effective Communication Skills Training Video
If you are in a negative environment, decide if you are going o take on its characteristics or of you will transform it.
Start with your personal compass
I am: for example”loving”
Why are you here? for example to learn
What do you want, for example financial indepedence.
Keep this in mind, and ask with everything if it is bringing you closer or further from your goal.
Having a personal compass and only doing what brings you closer to your goals illuminates the battle field.
When you say abc, are you trying to say xyz?
That’s interesting , why would you think that/ say that./do that?
Feel felt found, think, thought believe
When the world wants you to forget who you are, go to your personal compass.
That gives you a point of reference.
Illuminate the battle field the moment between event and response.
The purge.
That may be but…. Don’t say : I have an idea”, say: “I have a proposal, an answer, a solution”
Start with a moral compass. In a moment of sobriety and decide who you are.
For example: I am loving, I’m here to learn and I want to be financially independent.
Don’t rise above the battle field, illuminate the battle.
Bring the light and energy of who you are to the situation, and the situation will change.
Lead in lines: Are you trying to say….?
Interesting. Are you trying to embarass me when you say that?
When you call people on their behavior, and you have lead in lines to get out those first few words, when it’s your turn, you are not at a loss for words.
You will be able to respond in a way that illuminates the battle.
Remember the 3 second look.
So someone insults you. You answer with an “are you trying to say…? and follow that up with a three second look.
Usually bullies will start saying things that do not help their position.
If they do come up with something , answer with duck tape phrases like”that’s interesting. Why would you say /do/ ask, that? Tell me more about that.
You will able to stand with authority when you have lead in lines and duck tape phrases.
That way, no matter what the bully says to you, you will always be able to respond.
Illuminate, call on behavior. 3 second look. Duck tape phrases:That’s interesting, why would you say/ask. do that, tell me more about that. Feel, felt, found, see saw seen, think, thought, believe, Navigational phrases Why would you do that in front of my co workers, are you trying to embarrass me? Not hostile communications. That was very embarrassing for me, and I am surprised that you would want to embarrass me in front of my coworkers.
Why would you do that in front of my co workers. Are you trying to embarrass me? Make a confession, tell a secret, ask a favor.
Navigational phrases
I believe that this conversation has taken an unfortunate turn. We need to stop here, back up a little, I believe we need to turn this around, get back on course,and should regroup and return in 5 minutes.
Be real and authentic with your emotions.
Be open with it, don’t ask hostile questions, like “did you think that was a good question?”
What were you thinking?
Why would you think?
Those are hostile questions. Instead make statements.
For example”That was very embarrassing for me. I am surprised you would embarrass me in front of my co workers.
Use three part questions.
tell a secret, make a confession, ask a favor.
Your nature is what it is. Find a way to make it work for you.
Example of countering bullying: boss asks employee if she is going to drop all the folders again like she did last time. She replies, When you ask me if I am going to drop all the folders, are you trying to embarrass me in front of all my co-workers? Boss; yeah, kind of. She: That’s interesting. Why would you do that? Boss: I’m just a bully at work. She: You might think that’s a good way to motivate your employees, and perhaps others have thought that as well, but I have found all the research says bullying at work is counter productive to a good atmosphere in the workplace and diminishes productivity, so I would appreciate it it if in the future you would refrain from doing that. Can I count on you to do that? Then we don’t have to have discussions like this anymore.
Bullies don’t like to be called on their behavior. The three second look usually works after calling them on their behavior.
Usually they will just say: Iwas just kidding, then the 3 second look will do. Always be deliberate when communicating with bullies.
If they have a come back after: when you say … are you trying to say…
Be real and authentic with your emotions.
use the duck tape phrases: That’s interesting. Why would you say /think/do/ feel /ask that. That’s interesting. Tell me more about that.)
That’s really embarrassing for me, and I am surprised that you would want to embarrass me in front of my colleagues.
Then you can go with the feel/felt/found, think/thought/ believe, see/saw/seen.
Manipulative, Condescending People: How to deal with them and More | Live Communication Skills Q&A Spotlight questions Are you trying to,,,? Clarifying question: repeat what they say:
“When you say…., are you saying that… or are you trying to say that….?
It puts people on alert that if people are passive aggressive with you, you will call them out, and thereby you take away their reward. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-25VzyAw7SU
How to Deal with A Narcissist At Work LIVE Effective Communication Skills Training
If you are promoted to leadership position over coworkers, be humblle, Do the lowestjob and give dignity to it an d pride to the workers by showing you don’t feel too good to do the lowest tasks, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=admgTxI3QIo
How to Deal with A Narcissist At Work LIVE Effective Communication Skills Training
Instead of asking: “does that make sense? “Say “have I missed something?” Instead of saying “Have you tried?”say”What I do is…
Thinking Fast On Your Feet! Never get caught off guard. Pt 2 Feel felt found Magic phrases Navigational phrases Spotlight phrases. AEIOU phrases Action Effect In the future O organisation U benefit you get: we don’t have to talk again about this.
Closing line: can I count on you to do that?
Thinking Fast On Your Feet! Never get caught off guard. Pt 1 Magical phrases Duck tape phrases Lead in lines Validating, generalizing, responding. I appreciate how you feel, I understand why you would feel that way, instead of “I know how you feel.” Avoid danger phrases, use power phrases. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1Hb-5pOtZE
Live: Lazy Coworkers? How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers who are Rude and Lazy Lead in lines: Andrew, I’m concerned. troubled etc. lead in lines 3 components: I, state of being, your name, adjective. Period and pregnant pause. 2.Involve a task
You Can Heal Any Relationship–The 9 Principles Live You can’t fight darkness with darkness. Ignoring it is rewarding it. Illuminate the battle field. Creativity can only come from love.
You can’t ignore an environment. You either transform it or you are transformed by it, There is no neutrality. Not choosing is being complicit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB1fZ2LqVZI
Communication Skills Course: How to Read Body Language and More–FREE COMMUNICATION COURSE Replace danger phrases with power phrases. Instead of “Youmake me say “When you, I feel”, Instead of “if you realize…”say “I realize you,,,. ” and “I”wish,,”
Instead of “I need”say “the real subject \’the successof this project depends completely on your commitment.”
Instead of “you should”, say ” I suggest”.
Compliment the crazy. Compliment them on the behavior you wish. Say Creating a personal compas in 3 steps
1. finish I am phrases, and decide to always be that. I am kind, I am compassionate etc. That uncovers who you really are and what you want to cultivate more. 2. I am responsible for all the relationships in my life. 3. Situations will repeat themselves until you deal with them correctly. Every word we speak, everything we do is a testament to who we are. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfXQ18m_OsE
Stop Gaslighting, Set Boundaries, & Difficult Conversations at Work: Communication Skills Training
When people are out of control, repeat their name. Then say: I want to talk about this with you, but not like this..Do you want to take a few minutes to regain your composure,or do you want to talk now? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GltP6IImSdo
How to Respond to Rude Questions at Work and Personal Attacks at Work
If you hear it can you tell them? I know that you value your job.Can I count on you to tell them it’s not true?You’re not confronting, you are addressing the situation.
Figure out what is really going on and narrate it.
Seek first to understand.
Speak from substance to substance instead of from ego to ego.
How to Keep Your Cool When Dealing With Rude & Difficult People At Work and at Home: Energy Vampires
dec. 2016
Dealing with Narcissist Bosses, Gossips at work, Excluding Friends, Difficult Breakups and More.
nov. 13, 2021
Ghosting is abuse. It is the silent treatment, but then virtually. Usually if you find out the real reason you understand and love them again. If there is no love there is something wrong because love is all there is.
Lead in line
Script: duck tape script: DESC
lead in line
DESC
closing line
D:Describe
E: Effect
S: say what you need
C: Say the consequences
Closing line: Do you think we can do that?
How to Say, “I Love You,” “I’m sorry,” “I Appreciate / Respect You” and more in the 5 Love Languages
streamed live October 31 , 2019
The 5 love languages:
-touch
-gifts
-quality time
-words of appreciation
-acts of service
Live Communication Skills Q&A Effective Communication Skills Training Online
July 30, 2019
How To Tell What Personality Type Someone Is By Looking at Them; The Social Styles at Work
September 23, 2017
Expressives
Amiables
Drivers
Analyticals
Style stepping: adjust your benefit statement to the personality type you are dealing with,
The amiable: this will be nice for your coworkers,
The driver type: this will look good on your resumé.
Expressive: If you do this your coworkers will see you as the star I already know you are.
Analytical:This process will make you more efficient in your
field.
Dealing with Difficult People, Correcting People, Small Talk for Introverts, and Ahh-Umm-Fillers
Streamed Live on jan. 22, 2020
Lead in lines:
Open ended questions invite conversation:
What do you think about?
How do you feel about?
Tell me about?
What happened next?
Closed ended questions get a one word answer and close the lines of communications.
How to Deal with Passive-Aggressive Behavior and More Live Q&A with Dan O’Connor
How do you think it makes me feel when you do/say that?
Do you want to humiliate me? Do you think I need more humiliation in my life? Why would you want to upset me?
Lead in line for a supervisor: I have a situation where I could really use your expertise.
Spotlight question: Mark when you say….are you trying to say…? Lean in forward.
The number 1 answer you will get: I’m just kidding”
Use a “I don’t know but I do know ” come back
Or the pregnant pause.
Learn how to handle critical people using Power Phrases | Communication skills training
3 M’s motive, method, manner.
I reject both your assessment and your advice.
Or I reject both your assessment and your prophecy.
How to Communicate with Power & Persuasion | COMPLETE Communication Skills Webinar
Really, very, so, These are delete phrases. They only weaken the message you are trying to convey.
Better
State the reason something is better, and use it to label plant”I believe that is a more customer focused solution. “
Not a problem or no problem
You’re welcome, It’s my pleasure or it’s my pleasure to serve you, yes I can help you with that.
Do you want../Do you need..?
Would you like…? or better: I can… Would you like that? A tag question.
Do not say: can we change the subject, that’s very uncomfortable for me.Danger phrases”Can we change the subject? I am not comfortable talking about that. ” Don’t say that. Use navigational phrases instead. We are used to them, they are simple, and they let us get where we want to be.
Instead use Navigational phrases: shift gearsI think we might have made an unfortunate turn. Let’s stop, take a u-turn and get back on track. Let’s stop, regroup, and pause, and I will see you again in 5 minutes so we can get back on track.
Transitional phrases: you can interrupt people by repeating what they said.
Do not reward hostile behavior. Ignoring it is rewarding it and engaging in it is rewarding it. Asking spotlight questions is exposing it. Bullies hate that and will retreat.
Spotlight phrases: ask a clarifying question, If you call people out on their behavior, it puts people on alert that you are not going to let it pass, which is a reward, nor are you going to engage in their behavior, which is also a reward, but instead you are going to call them out. “Are you trying to say?” “It appears like you are trying to distract people from my message, is that what you are doing?”
I know how you feel
I understand how you can feel that way.
calm down
I understand how upset you must be/I can understand why you feel that way/
do not confront
do address
come see me
I bet you do
The hamburger:When you…., I feel……, because………Is there something else you need to tell me?
What a shock
When you do that, are you trying to communicate that message? When you say…, are you trying to say…?
If there is something in this relationship we still want to save, can we do that?
Generalisations: always, sometimes, occasionally, never
Be specific:this morning, this afternoon, today at 4:30 The reason, we talk at 150 words a minute and think at 800 words a minute. So you don’t want to get people’s self talk going.
you said
I heard
hostile questions:Why are you..what were you thinking
I realize … but
My name is, his name is
I’m or this is
We need to talk
Lead in lines:……..(name), I need your help/I’m confused
I disagree
1.It’s difficult for me to see how that will work. 2. Yet I trust your judgement 3. You have my support
I disagree
1. I understand how you can see it that way. 2. I see it differently 3. But tell me about it. I am interested in what you have to say.
Don’t sit there
Come sit here!
Taboo
Transition away from it: well I don’t know about that, but I do know ….(safe subject)
Where are you from?What do you do? How do you feel? Those are closed questions that invite one word answers and are conversation stoppers, not starters.
Tell me about where you are from? 4magic phrases: What do you think about…?What do you feel about…?Tell me about…. What happened next?
Don’t go along with negativity.
If a negaholic says: I hate these conferences, I use them as naptime, say: I do love extra naps, and it seems every year of my life I want extra naps, so I see what you mean.”Grab on to one ting that you can agree with and focus on that. “I have to agree that”
I think
I have found that
To be honest
Frankly
There’s something you should know, There’s something I should tell you
I don’t know….but I do know
Honestly
Frankly
Does that make sense? (to you): actually you are saying people are dumb. Did I leave something out? Don’t ask yes or no question?
What did I leave out?
I’m not ready for a relationship/ commitment. (sith you)
Why don’t you? You should…
What I do is…
Clarifying question: when you say…, are you trying to say…? Because that’s what it sounds like.
Don’t worry
1. Acknowledge what makes them feel bad. 2.You are there for them. 3.Let them know you will continue to be there.
I have an idea
I have a solution
If you change your speech patterns, you will change your thought patterns.
In a verbal presentation, if more than three minutes have passed without you asking a question that engages the audience, that’s a problem. That’s a good one, don’t you think?
Don’t engage with false objections. First ask how important it is to them.
Quid pro quo: If I can present you with this, can you present me with that?
The whole porcupine:
How important is that to you? If I were to show you that this would give such and such advantage, would you then be willing to…?
Solution focused questions.
When you know the names of things, you can implement them. When you are a more skilled communicator and negotiator, you get the results more skilled communicators and negotiators get.
Have a bag of non confrontational phrases at your disposal.
Difficult people
The cry baby:uses crying as a tool to avoid any confrontation
The winer
The negaholic
The negadictive
The backstabber
Create a personal compass.
Who I am, Why I am here, What I want.
I am…kind, patient, considerate
I am here to learn
I want to spread love and light.
I want…
People who make a personal connection make more money, That creates a chemical bond if you touch people.
Style step:
Be able to speak the language of all 4 types, the amiable, the analytical, the driver and the expressive type.
5 love languages
touch
gifts
quality time
words
acts of service.
Being authentic is more important than being perfect.
Use tag questions in your presentation. The “don’t you think?”comes at the end, not the beginning.
Every 3 minutes in your presentation, you want to ask a tag question, as you would with a conversation.
Body language is half of or the entire message.
When men nod their heads they say they agree with you and when women nod their heads they say I am listeing.
Tilting your head means I am listening without saying you agree.
If you make a steeple as you deliver the message you want to give, people remeber it better.
Visual barriers create communication barriers.
Palms up forward shows you are telling everything you know.
Hands held like you are holding a stack of books while you deliver a message makes it more convincing.
3 step process
Let me see if I understand your question correctly. Your question is…
If you have the answer give it. If not: I don’t have the answer now, but I will find the answer and will get back to you and get it to you at the end of the day, will that work for you?
Confirm you solved the problem: Did I answer your question?
3 part verbal patterns are very powerful.
1.Validate, I can appreciate why you would think that
2.Generalize: others thought that.
3. Answer: I found
If you can just give me a chance. Will you do that for me?
Secret, confession, favor.
At the end of a presentation tell people specifically what to do and when to do it.
When we ask people to do us a favor, they like us more. When we do them favors, they like us less.
How to respond to insults at work | 3 power phrases
How To Handle Toxic People: 3 Keys for Setting Boundaries + Power Phrases
1.Benefit: Because I value our relationship so much
2.Boundary: I’; sure you are not questioning my parenting skills.
3.You can respect that, can’t you?
4.Transitional phrase: by the way, that reminds me, speaking of.
top 3 signs your relationship is becoming toxic | signs of a toxic relationship–toxic people
Intrigue one another with love and dignity. Deliver any message that you have in a loving way.
How to respond to rude comments at work | 3 Power Tactics | Professional communication training
If someone insults us, say:
Can you repeat that please?
I don’t engage in that type of communication.
Can you repeat that please?
3 second look
It wouldn’t be too much to ask to keep our communication here at work strictly professional, would it?
3 second look
If they say “what do you mean”, explain it.
Tactic 3
Mark, I apologize, I probably gave you reason to believe that our relationship was otherwise than strictly professional.
I am not comfortable with the level of intamicy your commumication implies.
It’s reasonable for me to ask you to do that isn’t it?
How to use Power Phrases, Body Language Signals & Other Tactics to Deal with Difficult People @ Work
If you have to take a call when you are meeting with someone, apologise in advance,
Picking up the phone and saying you can’t take the call now is also not proper protocal.
Turn your phone off in advance.
Live Communication Skills Q&A Effective Communication Skills Training Online
I can’t, because I can’t, Today I can’t, Because I just can’t.
Stop Negativity by Communicating With Kindness | Communication Skills Training from Dan O’Connor
5 Secrets to Everlasting Love
The goal is not to stay together or to break up. It is to do what is best at that time.
The love you have never disappears but changes form.
What do we want for people is for them to be safe, at peace and happy.
What does Our Heavenly Father want for us?
1.SelfiShness
2.surrender
3.codependancy
4.ObjectificTION
5.jUDGMENT
#1: Be Selfish
There is a general law of attraction.
You are the one who sets your own value and worth.
Sometimes, you have to say no to your partner
Amazon and e-bay rose to where they are today because of 2 principles : limited time and urgency
How fun am I to be with? Ask yourself twice a day: How fun is it to be around me?
Men and women who are hard to get have the most suitors.
How to Respond to Backhanded Compliments & how to handle insults at Work | communication skills
Back handed compliment is a sneaky passive aggressive behavior.
“O that’s such a great picture of you. How long ago was that taken?”
3 principles:
Don’t take the bait
What gets rewarded gets repeated
Use the broken record
Illuminate the battlefield
What you want to do:
Call them on their behavior
Illuminate the battlefield
Plaxe yourself above the battle
Use name:John, head tilt forward, eyes open but to wide, you want to appear confident but not aggressive
You’re critsizing me right now,but you are doing it in a passive aggressive way.
Don’t be afraid to…I can handle it. f.e. In the future, if you have some criticism for me, don’t be afraid to just say it, I can take it.
When they start making excuses, give them the 3 second look.
Persuasion Skills: How to Be More Persuasive | Communication and Professional Sales Skills Training
People usually choose the third option.
How to Deal with Critical People Using Power Phrases + Body Language Tactics | Communication Skills
3 types of critics
The messenger
The prophet
The saboteur
This is about the saboteur.
Saboteurs want to set you up and tear you down.
Never say “I think”.
Instead say: I have found that.
If people offer unwanted free advice, answer:
I have found that it’s with advice just as with anything else:
You get what you pay for.
4 ways you’re ruining your credibility | Professional communication training online
power phrases for toxic people | take back your power
What to do when you hate your job or your coworkers or your boss so much but you can’t do anything
In this professional communication training video “What to do when you hate your job or your coworkers or your boss so much, but you can’t do anything about it,” you’ll learn how to formulate “coping statements” properly, thus increasing the odds you will be able to control yourself and not freak out at work, because when you use coping statements correctly, you’re using the proper syntax so the brain can process the information effectively. Remember the two parts to a coping statement are: 1) They are in the present, and 2) They are positively phrased.
Instead of I am not going to cry, or I will not cry say I am cool and collected.
Teel ourselves what we are. That will manifest.
It must be positively phrased and in the present.
I am going to remain calm is also not right because it is not in the present but in the future.
Say I am cool, calm and collected.
What I say and do is a testament to what I think I am.
What to say when people try to embarrass you by talking about your past | 4 Step Process
What to say when people try to embarrass you be talking about your past? In this free online communication training, communication coach Dan O’Connor discusses what to say when people try to embarrass you by talking about your past. What do you say when people insist on bringing up humiliating moments you’ve endured? This could be at the office; this could be with friends; this could be with family. How can you shut them down?
If you cannot forgive yourself,begin with forgiving other people.
Go the extra mile. Be authentic.
Ask why they brought that up. Why are you bringing that up?Are you trying to embarrass me in front of all these people? Do that in public. They humiliated in public, retaliate in public. Maybe you are intimidated by other people’s success.
How to Stop Explaining Yourself. Live Q&A
How to Respond to Rude Questions at Work and Personal Attacks at Work
How to Stand Up For Yourself and Not Back Down When People Try to Push You Around
power phrases that disarm toxic people at work | free communication skills training video
Thinking Fast On Your Feet! Never get caught off guard. Pt 2
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How to Calm the F*#$ Down | How to Disengage from Difficult People | How to Calm Yourself Down
4 steps to disengage to stop the rage.
1.Calm down first, perhaps by a physical activity.
2,.Ask yourself what was their role in it?
3.What was my role in it?
4. What are my options?
Learn Secret Body Language Tactics, Dealing with Difficult People at Work Strategies and More
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nov. 7, 2022
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How to tell a real prophet from a false prophet:
How to handle the false prophet:
Face them: like an exorcism, call them out, use their first name. Use a disappointed tone. Nod your head forward. Direct eye contact, nod forward, use name.
So and so, when you say x,y,z, are you trying to be helpful?
A false prophet will say he is.
Keep eye contact, say: I believe you so and so, but so and so, I think you know, that’s not the kind of help I need, don’t you so and so? use their name three times.
I think that you know that is not the way to be helpful with me, don’t you?
If they continue to pretend that they mean well, say that you know they don’t mean well because of their manner, method and message, and reject their prophecy by saying:
I reject your assessment and you advice.
I reject your prophecy and your advice.
I reject your assessment and your prophecy.
Instead of saying I need that report by the end of the day, say, that report is due the end of the day.
Then the real prophets: distill the real message:
3 Killer Magic Power Phrases for Work | Professional Communication Skills Training Courses & Videos
In this free online communication training video, 3 Killer Magic Power Phrases for Work, communication coach Dan O’Connor gives you three navigational phrases to help you steer the conversation where you want it to go. The key one is “that may be but” and that one phrase alone, combined with “the broken record” will keep your conversations on track, whether you’re talking to your children, clients, coworkers or friends! Communication skills coach Dan O’Connor will give you the words, not the theory, so you can make great changes in your professional development communication skills starting TODAY. Please subscribe to Dan’s Youtube channel for all his free online communication training: https://goo.gl/VJdWKi
1 Magic Phrase (Power Phrase for Work)- How to Politely Interrupt When Someone Won’t Shut Up?
In this free online effective professional communication skills training video, 1 Magic Phrase (Power phrase for work) you’ll learn a professional tactic you can immediately use both at work and at home to interrupt anyone who simply won’t stop talking. Professional communication skills coach Dan O’Connor doesn’t give you the theory. He gives you the words you can use IMMEDIATELY to resolve communication issues, and communicate like a boss 🙂
How to Deal with Difficult People at Work
Duck tape phrases
DESC
Describe the behavior
Effects
Say what I want
Consequences.
Lead in lines
I phrases
Make it short
Use the name of the person you are addressing
End with a pregnant pause.
Closing line gives commitment.
“Can I count on you to that?”
Communication principles:
I am in charge of all the relationships in my life.
Have a personal compass, which means you know who you are, why you are here and what you want, and ask for guidance from Yeshua in what you say.
Temper tantrums are to distract from the truth.
Boundary statement:
Charlie I do want to help you with this and hear all you want to say, but not like this. So Charlie, when you are ready to discuss this professionally, I will be willing to continue this conversation. Do you need a minute to regain your composure, or do you want to continue now?”
Use the name often.
Best conversation starter:
Confidently introduce yourself, tilt your head.
Sniping is when people make mean comments in public.
does something need to be said, 2. by me 3. right now
Ask the sniper a spotlight question
Narrate the behavior. lead in line”Jamie “, when you say this or that, are you trying to.. say this or that..? Clarity is key.
Judge Ronald N. Davies was the grandfather of Don O’Connor.
He decided the little rock 9 case in the 50’s for integrating schools.
Boyd Christenson Interviews; Judge Ronald N Davies
Host Boyd Christenson interviewed Judge Ronald Davies who was a federal judge for the United States District Court for the District of North Dakota in 1957 when he ordered the forced desegregation of Little Rock High School in Arkansas and earned a place in civil rights history. This Prairie Public Classic interview was first aired in 1979.
Use their name over and over if people are Bulldozing you.
If you tell people what the rules are they can follow the rules you set.
Bottom line statements:
I don’t allow….
I can’t contribute to this conversaton/ I don’t think I can contribute, so if you don’t mind I will go back to work.
Whatever you do that is participating in their insanity, stop that, so they get nothing out of mistreating you.
Remove yourself from the situation, for example with a DESC script.
Responding to Personal Insults at Work | Attacks, and Personal Questions at Work
Change personal attacks into professional ones by making them more specific.
Stay beyond reproach.
How I behave is 100% a reflection of who I am. Don’t react. Be.
State the behavior, what it does with you and what you would like instead.
Once you work through something you will feel good. If you don’t it will repeat itsself over and over until you learn your lesson.
Forgiveness. Ask for it and give it. Forgiveness, compassion, sympathy, those are the skills that will get you to the high levels.
I think there is something I am leaving out. What is it?
Teach the person who is monologing to ask specific closed ended questions and tag questions.
Thinking Fast On Your Feet! Never get caught off guard. Pt 2
drive your car, stg, adjust your shirt.
Ducktape tactics: That’s interesting. Why would you say that? That’s interesting. Why would you do that? That’s interesting. Why would you think that? Tell me more.
aeiou:
action
effect
here’s what I would like from you
or else this might happen
u: here’s what you will get out of it.
Can I count on you to do that?
I wanted this to remain between the two of us so it does not need to go any further.
power phrases that disarm toxic people at work | free communication skills training video
Validate, use a power phrase and then the broken record.
Validate: That may be but
Stop enslaving other people by making your happiness depend on them.
I appreciate your concern
I can understand why you’d ask
I’m glad you asked that
I appreciate your attention for detail
How to Stand Up to a Bully–Literally | Communication Skills Training for Difficult People At Work
Email Writing Tips with Examples, Power Phrases, Checklist + More for When You’re Angry
How to Respond to Rude Questions at Work and Personal Attacks at Work
Narrate the scene
Toxic People: Phrases for Dealing With Passive-Aggressive Friends and Family
Paulinism has a philosophy of dying to self .This makes being unaware of who you are a side effect of Paulinism, which is a big handicap.
In Yeshua’s Teaching, the self is made in the image of Our Heavenly Father, we are temples of the Holy Spirit, hand crafted by Our Heavenly Father, in His image, to do His will on earth. A will, that is our deepest will, and will bring us most joy and blessings.
But who are we? What are our gifts and weaknesses? What is our vocation? How do we please Our Heavenly Father most?
Which tools can and can’t we use to find out what is wanted from us?
Seven is symbolic of a totality of perfection or completeness …
The number of seven appears to be the number of perfection since the earth was created in seven days, regardless of the fact that God rested on the seventh day. Rest is still doing something and the seventh day is a day of rest and we are told to work six days and rest on a seventh day. Seven is symbolic of a totality of perfection or completeness like the seven-day week.
The Book of Revelation is big on the number seven, there were:
There are too many occult elements to the medicine wheel for someone who follows Yeshua to do anything with it.
It is fun to think about, and thinking about it can give you new insights in how to be a better follower of Yeshua. For instance when we are called medicine.
When we are baptised with the Holy Spirit, we can heal people, so in that way we are medicine, but it is Yeshua doing the healing, not us.
And the Bible has no problem with identifying with animals.
While most domesticated cats dislike getting wet, the leopard is similar to the tiger and the bobcat in that they are strong swimmers. They are also adept climbers, with the ability to drag heavy prey up a high tree branch. In addition, leopards can run at speeds of 36 mph (58 kph) and jump 10 feet (3m) high. They can also leap across a distance of 20 feet (6 meters). Furthermore, these remarkable cats can survive in a variety of environments, from deserts to high mountains to rainforests.
So the medicine wheel taught me to pay attention to which animals aer introduced to me in my visions, but Yeshua showed me in His time. I did not search for it in rituals.
It is the difference between going through the front or the back door. Yeshua is the front door. We pray to Him, and He gives us what we need when we need it. His timing is always perfect.
When we do ourselves what he does, then we become spiritual ghost riders. Our timing will always be off.
And spiritually, it will be like wearing off the rack clothing, while the clothing Yeshua gives is tailor made. . Not astrology, not a medicine wheel, Yeshua. And that is not to deprive you of anything, it is because the experience of being led by Yeshua is so much richer.
So it’s necessary to know who you are to serve Him better, but let Him tell you Himself. he will do it in your sleep, and give you accurate answers instead of the cookie cutter ones you can expect if you go to people for answers only he can give you!
So be aware of what Yeshua tells you about yourself. Envelope yourself in your favorite scents and music and clothes. Surround yourself with your favorite people. Do what you love most , develop your talents and serve others with joy.
What Oprah Knows for Sure About Getting What You Want
How Honoring Your Calling Feeds Everything in Your Life
“When you find your calling, you never ever get tired. You would do it for nothing., because it energizes you and makes you feel so good. “
Oprah Winfrey
Can You Miss the Clues for Your Calling?
“It’s not Moses and the burning bush (although it may be). It’s in everything you do, every encounter you have, the clues are everywhere.” That is so true.
The Spiritual Epiphany That Led Oprah to Accomplish Amazing Things
“Be on your knees for Our Heavenly Father All The Time! Not just physically when you pray, but also mentally when you think. Try to listen and understand what He wants, and do that.”
Oprah on Getting Past Poverty | The Oprah Winfrey Show | Oprah Winfrey Network
Oprah being her Salt and Light self, to give the lady in her audience a helpful answer she can work with rather than the bland , empathiless one her guest gave.
Listening to Life’s Whispers
Over the years, Oprah says she’s learned that life whispers to you all the time. Are you listening? Learn why Oprah believes this lesson is one the of the greatest principles of life. For more on #lifeclass, visit http://bit.ly/1nPCfuF
Why You Shouldn’t Fear Life’s Opportunities
When opportunity presents itself, will you be ready? In 2001, ‘Life Makeovers’ author Cheryl Richardson stopped by ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ to talk about pursuing your passion. After the taping, she and Oprah stuck around to field audience members’ questions. Watch as a probing question from Oprah gets at the truth underlying one woman’s anxiety about her sudden good fortune. For more on #oprahwinfreyshow, visit http://WatchOWN.tv/TOWS
Oprah on Taking Responsibility for Your Life
How to Fulfill Your Dream
Life-Saving Advice from The Oprah Show
In 1991, an Oprah Show guest named Sanford Strong shared advice that has since saved countless viewers’ lives. Watch as Sanford and Oprah explain why you should never allow an attacker to take you to a second location.
This is not just true physically, it is true spiritually as well. Attackers will always try to misrepresent you and any situation they themselves created as if you had a part in it. Choose your words carefully, and identify when attackers are presenting a false narrative. Calmly and politely state the truth. That’s your ground, and it is very powerful.
The Difference Between an Intention and a Dream
An intention and a dream are two vastly different things. Watch as Cheryl Richardson explains the difference between a “soul goal” and a “head goal.” Plus, find out what lesson Oprah learned about intention
Oprah Learns That Love Doesn’t Hurt
When Oprah was in her 20s, she says, she went looking for love in all the wrong places. Watch as she looks back at past relationships and explains how low self-esteem led to bad choices. Plus, Oprah reveals the moment she got the message that love doesn’t hurt.
What Oprah Knows for Sure About Living Your Truth
Are you pretending to be something you are not? Watch as Oprah remembers a time she was trying to be someone else, and find out how becoming comfortable with herself allowed her to live the life she was meant to live.
Oprah Winfrey on love, friendship and philanthropy
If the hair on the back of your neck stands up or you think to yourself, “Hmm, something is off”, security specialist Gavin de Becker urges you to trust your gut.
A Stunning Example of How the Oprah Show Team Went Above and Beyond
In the heyday of ‘The Oprah Show,’ the show’s producers left no stone unturned in their quest to create riveting television. After a 2002 taping with interior designer Nate Berkus, Oprah and Nate stuck around to chat with the audience. After Nate complimented the producers, Oprah shared a jaw-dropping example of just how far her team goes to put on a good show
What Oprah Learned from Her Dog Sophie
What Oprah Knows for Sure About the Power of Ego
Does Your Face Light Up?
How to Give and Receive Positive Karma
6 Pieces of Life-Changing ADVICE from Oprah Winfrey | #MentorMeOprah
Good stuff, except that the golden rule “do for others what you would wish they would do for you” is fine as it is, and more useful than the version she gives.
“Become the BEST VERSION of Yourself!” | Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) | Top 10 Rules
Oprah Winfrey’s 50 Rules for Success
When You UNDERVALUE What You DO, the WORLD Will UNDERVALUE Who You Are! | Oprah Winfrey MOTIVATION
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THIS is the One GOAL You NEED to Set if You Want Real SUCCESS! | Oprah Winfrey | Top 10 Rules
The one about the seed is in here, where she says that the creator dreamed a dream for you ven before your ancestors were here. i love that one.
FOCUS Your ENERGY on THIS and SUCCESS is Guaranteed! | Oprah Winfrey | Top 50 Rules
“People live from reaction or choice. You have limited awareness if you live from reaction. You have expanded awareness when you live from choice.”
Visualisation is what Visioning is what is unique to you to express. It is the next level of visualisation. Channel is the next level. You are an instrument in Our Heavenly Father’s hands. That is the fourth level. You get at a higher level of that all the time.
In order to do for others what you would wish they would do for you, and love your neighbor as yourself, you need to do for yourself what you would wish others would do for themselves and love yourself as you would wish others would love themselves.
Love starts with knowing, and knowing starts with asking, and asking starts with being curious.
Discovering your brand is a useful way to discover your strengths and weaknesses, what you love and what you hate, so you can find out how you can make your way in the world doing what you love and being an inspiration to others while doing your share in solving problems in the world and helping to bring paradise.
Thus finding your brand is a wonderful way to bring the spiritual into the practical and lead a harmonious life where you can make a living doing what you love, and love living, and help make the world a better place.
Your brand is a way to package your gifts in a way that they are recognizable for others and you can use them to serve others, and at the same time attract wealth by the value you bring to others.
Finding your brand is a fun and productive way to soul search.
Your brand is very personal. Your business should look like you, sound like you and its values should align with your values.
The ABC of branding is: Your brand should be:
A. Authentic to you, have your DNA.
B. Built to last, subliminale, solid, something people can trust. It should have consistency.
C. Created to support you in having a significant impact on the world. And that is not about numbers, it is about fairness, truth, love and health.
The 5 pillars of a legacy brand can be described in the acronym LASER:
L. LegacyWhat do you want to build that will outlast you? Why does the business exist? What is your story? Why does it matter? Why you?
A. Brand archetypes Secret Sauce. They tell a story and they are a short cut to meaning. What is your brand archetype? Find out by answering the questions below.
S.Your Story. Wherever you go, you take your story with you. What is your story? Find out by answering the questions below.
E. Expression, everyone looks for that look and feel of the brand. What is the ook and feel of your brand?
R. Results: A business and a brand should not live independently. One should not exist without the other. They should work together. How do your business and brand work together?
Discover your brand in 21 questions, which you can fill in in your very own Brand Chart (Click the link to upload and fill it in).
4 questions to discover your purpose,
4 questions to discover your ikigai and
12 questions to discover your archetype
And a bonus question where you describe your brand in 3 words.
1. What do you love? That reveals a gift that’s in you.
2. What do you hate? That’s what you were born to fix.
3.What makes you cry? That’s what you heal best.
4.What annoys you? That’s what you are best at solving.
Ikigai: basically means that you plan your activities at the intersection between what you love, your mission, what you are good at, your passion, your profession, your vocation, what you think the world needs and what you can get paid for.
What are you good at?
What do you love?
What do you think the world needs?
What can you be paid for?
Profession: What are you good at that you can get paid for?
Passion:What are you good at that you love?
Mission: What do you love that you think the world needs?
Vocation: What do you think the world needs that you can get paid for?
Ikigai: What do you love that you are good at and can get paid for that you think the world needs?
Or: What service or product that does not exist but which you wish existed can you provide?
-How you do what you do is your brand. How do you do what you do?
-Why you do what you do how you do it is your story. Why do you do what you do how you do it?
Archetype:
Look for the 3 archetypes that suit you best.
Read them all, put down “yes” under the ones that are you, “no” under the ones that are not you and “a little “ under the ones that are kind of you.
Highlight the yes’s in yellow: with underneath number 1 for the top, 2 for the middle, 3. for the least.
Highlight orange for a little.
Red letters for “no”
The Innocent
Motto:
Free to be you and me
Core desire:
To experience paradise
Goal: To be happy
Greatest fear: To be punished for doing something bad or wrong
+Strategy: To do things right
Weakness: Boring for all their naive innocence
Talent: Faith and optimism
The Innocent is also known as: Muse, traditionalist, naive, mystic, saint, romantic, dreamer.
Everyman
Motto: All men and women are created equal
Core Desire: Connecting with others
Goal: To belong
Greatest fear: To be left out or to stand out from the crowd
Strategy: Develop ordinary solid virtues, be down to earth, the common touch
Weakness: Losing one’s own self in an effort to blend in or for the sake of superficial relationships Talent: Realism, empathy, lack of pretense
Everyman is also known as: The regular guy/gal, the orphan, the good old boy, everyman, the realist, the working stiff, the solid citizen, the good neighbor, the silent majority.
The Hero
Motto: Where there’s a will, there’s a way
Core desire: To prove one’s worth through courageous acts
Goal: Expert mastery in a way that improves the world
Greatest fear: Weakness, vulnerability, being a “chicken”
Strategy: To be as strong and competent as possible
Weakness: Arrogance, always needing another battle to fight
Talent: Competence and courage
The Hero is also known as: The warrior, crusader, rescuer, superhero, the soldier, dragon slayer, the winner and the team player.
The Caregiver
Motto: Love your neighbor as yourself
Core desire: To protect and care for others
Goal: To help others
Greatest fear: Selfishness and ingratitude
Strategy: Doing things for others
Weakness: Martyrdom and being exploited
Talent: Compassion, generosity
The Caregiver is also known as: The saint, altruist, parent, helper, support
The Explorer
Motto: Don’t fence me in
Core desire: The freedom to find out who you are through exploring the world
Goal: To experience a better, more authentic, more fulfilling life
Biggest fear: Getting trapped, conformity, and inner emptiness
Strategy: Journey, seeking out and experiencing new things, escape from boredom
Weakness: Aimless wandering, becoming a misfit
Talent: Autonomy, ambition, being true to one’s own soul
The explorer is also known as: The seeker, wanderer, adventurer, individualist, pilgrim.
The Rebel
Motto: Rules are made to be broken
Core desire: Revenge or revolution
Goal: To overturn what isn’t working
Greatest fear: To be powerless or ineffectual
Strategy: Disrupt, destroy, or shock
Weakness: Crossing over to the dark side, crime
Talent: Outrageousness, radical freedom
The Rebel is also known as: The Outlaw, revolutionary, the villain, wild man/woman, misfit.
The Lover
Motto: You’re the only one
Core desire: Intimacy and experience
Goal: Being in a relationship with the people, work and surroundings they love
Greatest fear: Being alone, a wallflower, unwanted, unloved
Strategy: To become more and more physically and emotionally attractive
Weakness: Outward-directed desire to please others at risk of losing own Identity
Talent: Passion, gratitude, appreciation, and commitment
The Lover is also known as: The partner, friend, intimate, enthusiast, sensualist, spouse, Teambuilder.
The Creator
Motto: If you can imagine it, it can be done
Core desire: To create things of enduring value
Goal: To realize a vision
Greatest fear: Mediocre vision or execution
Strategy: Develop artistic control and skill
Task: To create culture, express own vision
Weakness: Perfectionism, bad solutions
Talent: Creativity and imagination
The Creator is also known as: The artist, inventor, innovator, musician, writer or dreamer.
The Jester
Motto: You only live once
Core desire: To live in the moment with full enjoyment
Goal: To have a great time and lighten up the world
Greatest fear: Being bored or boring others
Strategy: Play, make jokes, be funny
Weakness: Frivolity, wasting time
Talent: Joy
The Jester is also known as: Provocateur, trickster, entertainer, practical joker or comedian.
The Sage
Motto: The truth will set you free
Core desire: To find the truth.
Goal: To use intelligence and analysis to understand the world.
Biggest fear: Being duped, misled; ignorance.
Strategy: Seeking out information and knowledge; self-reflection and understanding thought processes.
Weakness: Can study details forever and never act.
Talent: Wisdom, intelligence.
The Sage is also known as: The expert, scholar, detective, advisor, thinker, philosopher, academic, researcher, planner, professional, mentor, teacher, contemplative.
The Magician
Motto: I make things happen.
Core desire: Understanding the fundamental laws of the universe
Goal: To make dreams come true
Greatest fear: Unintended negative consequences
Strategy: Develop a vision and live by it
Weakness: Becoming manipulative
Talent: Finding win-win solutions
The Magician is also known as: The visionary, alchemist, catalyst, inventor, charismatic leader, shaman, healer, medicine man.
TheRuler
Motto: Power isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.
Core desire: Control
Goal: Create a prosperous, successful family or community
Strategy: Exercise power
Greatest fear: Chaos, being overthrown
Weakness: Being authoritarian, unable to delegate
Talent: Responsibility, leadership
The Ruler is also known as: The boss, leader, aristocrat, king, queen, politician, role model, manager or administrator.
See how your archetypes fit in the archetype wheel and what their coloursare:
Blue:Creator (Innovation) , Ruler(Content) , Caregiver(Service): Provide structure to the world.
Green: Innocent(Safety) , Sage (Understanding) , Explorer (Freedom) : Yearn for Paradise.
Yellow: Rebel (Liberation), Magician (Power), Hero (Mastery): Leave a mark on the world.
Fill this Brand Chart in and come back to it now and then to see how your answers evolve or change, or maybe stay the same.
Begin with the end in mind, end with the beginning in mind, and always think, what is the best step to take next, and take that with the following step in mind.
Doing what you love is not only important for your success, it also helps your body make the happiness proteins, which are very important for your health.
It’s the sweet spot of being self aware but not selfish, so you can serve more, and serve better,with more happiness and effect, and thus with more satisfaction.
Combine that with an oxytocin promoting work environment and you are all set for a health and happiness promoting way o life.
Listen to professor Paul Zak’s explanation how to achieve that:
The Moral Molecule | Paul Zak | Talks at Google, March 24, 2015
So find what you love to do so much you would do it for free, perfect your skills and make a living living the life you love!
First of all, what do you think about when you think of wealth?
The tendency is to think of financial wealth, right?
But that is only one form of wealth, and it is the lowest form as well.
Anyone who has given up anything for it can tell you, it wasn’t worth it.
Many people who finally get their millions are overwhelmed by a feeling of emptiness. Their financial wealth did not bring them what they thought it would. It did not bring real wealth.
Because we can be rich in many areas. Finances is just one of them.
You can be rich in peace, rich in faith, rich in holiness, rich in wisdom, rich in fairness, rich in knowledge, rich in intelligence, quick witted, rich in humor, rich in love, rich in friendships, rich in family, rich in health, rich in talents, rich in forgiveness, rich in inner peace, rich in grace, rich in generosity, rich in kindness, rich in joy, rich in limberness, rich in beauty, rich in discipline, rich in cleanliness, rich in lovely scents, rich in the beauty of nature you are surrounded with. Being able to go to sleep when you are tired and get up when you are rested, having a warm bed, clean clothes, a warm shower, that too is wealth. You can probably think of a ton of other areas you can be rich in. I’d love to know what you come up with! Place them in the comments!
Don’t you believe that financial wealth is the lowest form of wealth?
Then think, what multimillionaire would not give his last penny to be healthy if he were confronted with a fatal disease, his own or of those he loves?
And remember, we are told to gather our riches in heaven, but we are also told that we are blessed when we are poor in spirit, when we mourn, when we are persecuted for following Yeshua.
So while we are told to use our talents to serve others and wealth , including financial wealth, is often a logical outcome, not succeeding is not a sign we are cursed. There may be something better for us out there. There might be something we need to learn first that Our Heavenly Father finds more important than wealth.
But still, when those bills need to be paid, and the finances are not there, you tend to forget how wealthy or blessed you may be in other area’s.
Don’t!
Now , more than ever, you need to realize your strengths, and use them to serve others.
Don’t sacrifice your joy , your health or your integrity for finances. Nothing can replace that. It’s like trading gold for lead.
You need to be excited about your work to have fun doing it, and you need to believe in what you do in order to get excited about what you do.
You cannot be excited about your work if you are required to lie or pollute in order to keep your job.
You cannot trick yourself into loving what you don’t love. You need to find out what it is you love to do, and then apply that to make the world a better place for everyone and fulfill your needs as well.
Not listening to your heart is an unsustainable way of living, and also of attracting wealth of any kind.
So first you have to discover your soul purpose.
These books and coaches and tips can help you with that.
Sole to Soul by Melissa Hughes. Melissa Hughes was a CEO in fortune 500 companies before she started on her mission to improve 10 million lives. She coached Lisa Nichols and went with her on the World Tour.
Find your purpose and stand in it rather than sit in it, Melissa says. I understand that to be that you should always keep checking if what you are doing is in alignment with what you believe in, and when you find it is not, you should be light on your feet to change your ways so that you are in alignment with your soul purpose at all times.
My favorite tip I got from her during one of her webinars: trust The Holy Spirit 100%. I became aware that I was always intellectualizing what He did, and that I should see Him more as a dance partner. You are a horrible dancer if you don’t trust your dance partner 100 percent.
She also says that when you envision your day each morning, don’t just imagine what you will do, also imagine how you will feel while you do it. I would add how you want to look, what you want to hear, what you want to smell, what you want to taste.
She teaches to embrace all of who you are, the good, the bad, the quirky, your talents, your training, your skills and use that to serve humanity.
These are the tips she gives for doing that:
1.Be crystal clear about your goal, document your when and have an action plan. Not only write your goal out, also identify how you want to feel during the journey. Have Pride in the Process.
2. Have an action plan. Write it down. Know where you are going to be at what time.
3. Eliminate any habits that are not supporting you (sorry not sorry). Get rid of any bad attitudes. You need to exhibit self discipline and self control. There should be evidence that you really want what you want. Keep your eye on the prize.
4. Mitigate your distractions Eliminate the distractions. Make sure you stay focussed on your goal. Your why has to be bigger than the distractions. Let nothing get in the way of your why.
5.Imagine your day in the morning before you start it, and imagine how you will feel. Set yourself daily goals. Create before you get in your day.
6. Please avoid procrastination. Use this as your springboard to get forward. Be fully present, do the work and be of service. Keep on stepping in the direction that gets you the results you want.
7. Manage your time. There is a lot of freedom in managing your time and meeting your commitments.
8. The hardest that you have to do, do that first. Make that the first thing you do. Get the heavy lifting out of the way first.
9. Implement the 80/20 rule. 20 percent of your work gets you 80 percent of the results. If you have limited time, focus on the most effective things. If you are in business, marketing and sales are very important. Delivery is also important, but if you have no clients, you have nothing to deliver. What are you doing to get new clients? What are you doing to let people know you are there to serve them? What does that look like, every day a little stronger. If you manage your time appropriately, you know when to do that. So Tuesday through Thursday may be your client acquisition days. You may have 2 hours Tuesday through Thursday to do that. You want to make sure that how you use your time is wisely with the right things.
She also says that if you don’t have a system, you don’t have a business, you have a hustle. She isn’t called the queen of implementation for nothing.
Another break through moment I had with her was when she asked in the webinar “If money were a person, how would you describe it and what your relationship with it would look like?”
My answer was:
“Hi Melissa! You ask how we would describe money if it were person, and what our relationship with it would look like. Here is my answer: “If money were a person, she would be a fair-weather friend. There when times are good, gone when they are not. Money has no mind of her own.A slave to authority, prone to follow whoever is in charge, whether they are morally sound or not. Money is not very smart, and needs guidance. I would feel sorry for her and try to help her. Try to teach her right from wrong, and if she would not want to learn, I would try and guide her on straight paths, so she does no harm.”
Upon reflection on this I realized how messed up my perception of money was. I was giving it a far too large role and I was hostile towards it. With an attitude like that, no wonder it runs from me.
I would now say “Money is a mirror to whoever owns her. She just reflects exactly what people do and goes wherever she is brought. Yet people revere her as a goddess and assign powers to her she does not have. Some do wicked things to get her and do much harm with her once they have her. She is blamed for people’s wickedness, but she can’t help it. She is also honored for people’s achievements, but she just reflects them. She can do nothing on her own. It’s the people using her who do it all. I am sorry I was angry with her and want to make it up to her,treat her as she deserves, guide her on straight paths and stop blaming her for what others do in her name without her having a say in the matter”
Melissa stresses that your attitude towards money is essential for being able to attract and manage it well.
Reflecting on this also made me realize how many types of wealth there are.
You keep on hearing it’s never about the money, it’s always about the mindset. What do people even mean by that?
Melissa also says negative self talk shows up and it’s not cute. She had me with that one. She is absolutely right. You think that you can treat yourself any way you want, but loving your neighbor as yourself and doing for others what you would wish they would do for you includes you as well. You don’t get anywhere if you don’t love yourself. It’s the measure for loving others. It’s unnatural not to love yourself. We are taught it is modesty,but it’s not. It’s arrogant to reject yourself. If you do that you are rejecting the work of Our Heavenly Father, and pretending your opinion of you is more important than His. He made you and loves you, and He sees in secret and rewards you for what you do in secret. So nothing is hidden from Him. Your self talk included.
I’m not crazy about the companies Melissa chooses as examples, since they are notorious for being either racist or destroying the environment.
Let’s face it, if those of us who do care about people , the environment and all life ,would work as efficiently on protecting life as big companies work on destroying it, we might just have a chance. So I will gladly learn from them how to work efficiently, and then apply it to wholesome goals instead of destructive ones.
If you have an honest job that truly helps people and the world, there is much honor in that , no matter what the level is, even if it is supposedly at the lowest level, because remember what Yeshua said? Don’t rule but serve. Many of those doing the lowest level work are the highest.
And if you have bosses that are making mistakes, you can set them straight. You will probably walk away from that conversation with a promotion, because honesty is appreciated and rewarded by the upright. If not you can become a whistleblower, and if your country does not have laws against the kind of corruption you face, you can become an activist or a writer.
Before you confront your boss, plan your exit from a destructive company wisely. Make sure you have other forms of income so you can keep paying your bills if the conversation does not go well.
All wealth begins with following your conscience,. Anything acquired by not doing so is a loss, not a gain.
-Why you do what you do how you do it is your story.
Ikigai basically means that you plan your activities at the intersection between what you love, your mission, what you are good at, your passion, your profession, your vocation, what the world needs and what you can get paid for.
For practical tips about how to order your life and mind so you are efficient, ZEST coach Linda Babulic has excellent tips.
Linda has a resumé a mile long. and has succesfully coached a large range of people in all walks of life into a Zestier way of being.
I discovered Melissa and Michel at Linda’s Zest Fest, June 2019.
Classic quotes by Linda Babulic:
“Fire the itty, bitty, shitty committee in your head that tells you to stay small, that tells you you do not deserve better.”
“Fear, the “F” word, is like a log on the river of your life, blocking the flow.”
“Rephrase what you say and improve your life.”
“Let your emotions guide you, but not lead you.”
“When someone has power over someone else, no one is free. It’s like having someone down with a foot on their neck. Neither can move.”
“Personal appearance is how you look. It’s what you bring into a room. Image is what you leave behind. Image is how other people see you, and it is how you see yourself. Make a positive impression on yourself first!”
“Leaving a legacy is more than leaving money after you die. It is leaving a love print on everyone’s heart each and every day. “
So it is a zoom in, zoom out idea. When you are overwhelmed, zoom in on one thing at a time. When you are bored, zoom out and see the overall goals to regain interest in the smaller ones by seeing how they bring you closer to the larger goals.
It’s a great way to give yourself dopamine shots during the day, and it’s a great way to commit all your works to the Lord, since if you have a clear beginning and a clear goal every moment of the day, dopamine is a result of goal achievement. So you are always either planning, or doing.
This way every task can come full circle: a beginning, a middle and an end. The beginning is the plan, the middle is the execution of the plan, the end is cleaning up after you are done, and also giving thanks to Yeshua for your success.
You are never wasting time.
It is also a way of keeping your mind in gear, to prevent being taken over by the subconscious, which holds the danger of getting trapped in negativity.
The immune system is suppressed by stress1, and telomeres are shortened, While the mind can also lengthen telomeres2 by thought. Stand up for principles. That creates community3. Once the heart opens up, the heart becomes an amplifier for the brain. It makes oxytocin, and it fits the stress receptors in the brain4, making it impossible to still feel anger5. So using the brain as a map to the future is an important skill. Otherwise it becomes a slave to the past. This is scientifically proven6.
In this way you can also create “rest in work”, since you can focus fully on every little part, leaving no loose ends, as Meir Ezra would say. Do it, do it completely, do it right, and don’t worry about the next thing while doing the current one. Allow yourself to be fully focussed. Your 100% is good enough. Nothing less will do. Surrender to the process and trust in the outcome when you use left brain and right brain focus. Left brain is the conscious rules you abide by, viewing from the outside in, making sure that what you produce is also what you like, and right brain, the creative directly led byThe Holy Spirit. You need both to succeed. So you set your constant little goals that contribute to the overall goals.
My most impressive “aha moment ” with Linda came from her lake meditation, which made me realize I had people in my family I had not forgiven yet, while I thought I had. In Yeshua’s Teaching forgiveness is a prerequisite for being forgiven, so that was a huge revelation for me, and it made a big difference in my life when I consciously forgave them.
I would describe your soul purpose as your personal way of contributing to creating paradise on earth, as described in Micah 4:4 and Isaiah 11:6-9, everyone their own grapevine and their own fig tree, no one afraid of another, and the earth so full of wisdom that even the animals don’t hurt us or each other. No more death or disease, no more sorrow.
Within that overall goal we each have our part to play in attaining that, applying our talents to spread our gifts and thus attract wealth.
It’s like in the movie Robots
“See a need, fill a need.”
You can elaborate on that:
See a mess, clean a mess
See a pain, sooth a pain
See a tear, wipe a tear.
Find Linda’s book ZEST you Life, a Taste of inner Wisdom here.
Meir Ezra, a spiritual entrepreneur, emphasizes the importance of words.
He says successful entrepreneurs know 25% more words and use 5% less. He stresses the importance of knowing exactly what you say. It is because of him I changed the title of this piece from “making money” to “attracting wealth”, because , as he rightfully stresses, you do not make money. Depending on where you live either the Federal Reserve does that, or the government or the central bank. You don’t make it, you either attract or repel it by your actions.
He advises against using the word “selling”, and recommends using the word “helping” instead.
He teaches the 5 second rule. If something is hard, just divide it into blocks of 5 more seconds. You can do anything for 5 more seconds.
I also met him at Linda’s Zest Fest.
He shares many nuggets of wisdom, but I’m not sure if I understand everything he says. Here for example he says that the only value people have is in how many people they can help. I understand what he means, and partially agree, but I do think there exceptions. What If you are sick? You can’t help anyone, but you still have value. And in this logic, someone who helps one very ill person who takes up all his or her time would be worth less than someone who helps one hundred. I don’t think that is the case, and perhaps he says this because he wants a discussion.
You have value because you exist and because you are created and valued by Our Heavenly Father. If you are doing His will, which is doing as Yeshua says, which is doing unto others what you would wish they would do unto you, He is pleased with you and you are His child. If not, He misses you and is happier with your return to Him than with one hundred people who do not need saving, like you would be when your child was missing and you found him or her again. That’s what we are to Him. That determines our value. in my opinion.
If we were only here to help others, how would we get value by helping people who can’t help others and are thus worthless theory?
I do think a lot of people think this way, and then turn people who need no help into fake help projects while ignoring those who really do need help.
So I would tweak that into that you always need to help as many people as possible in any way you possibly can. And so also not more than you can, because then you end up helping people badly.
And when helping people, don’t make them feel needy and inferior. You help people by honoring them realizing they are doing you a favor too by trusting you to help them.
Harv Eker advises you make three changes a day and Lisa Nichols says you should make needle point changes every day to become more efficient.
As Harv Eaker points out, 3 small changes a day makes over 1000 a year!
I made a little song about that, something you can sing to motivate yourself if a task seems too big to complete. Realize it just takes small changes daily to have big results in time. And you don’t have to compare yourself to others, just to yourself yesterday and try to do better, and celebrate every tiny progress towards your goal, and have grace for yourself if you don’t succeed. Learn and try to do better next time.
To the tune of Aretha Franklin’s Respect
Just a little bit, just a little bit, just a little bit more perfect each day (2x)
Small changes, tiny changes, minute changes, needle point changes, (2x)
7 Habits of Highly Effective People Audiobook Full Version by Stephen R. Covey 1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind. I would like to tweak that to “Begin with an end in mind.”So set your goals, and be on purpose always, but also be aware that while we have our oplans, our Heavenly father has His. So be open to His bigger plan so you don’t miss out on what He has in store for you if you listen to Him.
3. Put first things first
4. Think win-win. I would like to tweak that to think “win-win-win-win. ” When you put Our Heavenly Father and Yeshua first, it is not just your client and you, but also humanity as a whole, earth and Yeshua who wins.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
In order to monetize your message you need to be able to
Who are you?
What do you really do?
Why does it matter?
1.If you don t know who you are and what you have to offer, you don’t know what to charge. You will give it away, throw it away, or sell it cheap.
Angela says here entrepreneurial spirit was born the day she was fired from her job in corporate America.
She attached her worth to the job. She realized she was more than the job. She is more than the job.
She started asking: who am i in the world.
It is not about the doing.
Most people have alphabet soup behind their names.
You already know so much you can already help someone irght now.
Really understand who you are and stand in that.
No matter where you go, no matter what you do, you are brilliant, and wherever you go you take your brilliance with you.
People may not like you, but they love your gift.
Wherever you go, you take your gift with you.
2. What do you really do? Have clarity around that.
Angela gives high achieving women the clarity of what they have.
If someone lets you go, no problem, know that you are brilliant.
Clarity about who you ae and what you carry, and confidence that you can create your magic anywhere.
You choose, you are in control of your life.
You don t want to have to ask for permission to go on vacation. You can say “I am a farmer.” Or you can say “I feed the world. “
What do you do that none else can do?
3. Why does it matter?
The new marketing is about meaning. Why we matter.
A plain white shirt is a dollar. As soon as there is a Nike symbol on it, it is 30 dollars.
Items with a story are more valuable than the plain objects. That’s because they give more than the item,. They inspire, and that is priceless, as well as something everyone is looking for.
It is logical to be confused how to do it right. After all, we are told we need to develop our talents, but we are also told who loses himself will find it. How can you develop your talents if you lose yourself?
As with so many Bible texts, you find the answer when you actively imagine how it is done. And when you make a picture of how you can imagine Our Heavenly Father wants us to be, and how Yeshua served Him, you see that balance of self awareness without selfishness. It is also how the good Samaritan helped the broken man. He did what he could, and then let others take over and went on his way. He went out of his way to help the wounded man, but did not give up his way to help him. He did what he could within reason, and then organised for the man to have better help then he could ever provide, because there were others who have caring for others as the calling on their life and are better equipped to do so than we could ever be.
Do what you can with joy. No less, but also no more. Just as you don’t want to be a burden to others, others don’t want to be a burden to you.
Once you discovered your soul purpose, here are ways that you can spread your gifts and attract wealth:
OK, I’ve had the same sort of question as the OP. And I’ve seen here at KB two different sorts of answers — just as with this thread:
1. You can have up to 3 pen names. 2. You can have unlimited pen names.
Perhaps I’m totally misunderstanding all this. I’ve not yet published anything at KDP, just have an opened account that I’ve never really done anything with yet. Maybe I just need to look around the KDP pages/site more?
But it seems odd to me that here and in at least a couple of other threads I’ve seen in recent months, answers seem to vary between 3 pen names to unlimited pen names?
Anybody got a link to clarify that? Am I not understanding the whole KDP author setup?
Mark Walsh identifies and exposes the uneasy feelings around marketing so clearly and flips it around so masterfully, Some deep learning he offers here. Very profound and brilliant.
Many of us are victims of the Pauline idea that money is the root of all evil and literally feel sick by the idea of marketing and sales and money.
Mark makes you aware of that and flips that completely around in one session!
Marketing is not evil, it is evil not to market! Like not telling you have the solution to someone’s problem.
The jedi -sith comparison in marketing strategies is powerful. That’s exactly what it is. Energy either used in a good or a bad way, not the energy itself that is inherently good or bad.
I also love how he links believing in your product to integrity versus selling what you don’t believe in to lack of integrity.
Wealth is not having to worry about money.
You need the inner and outer skill of marketing.
Reframe of what marketing is.
Sith and Jedi marketers.
What not to do, or Sith marketung (the bad guys)
Make people feel bad
Lie
smash and grab
What to do, or Jedi marketing:
authenticity
Money marketing and business are a form of power.
Marketing is just telling people how you can help them!
Building relationships that may or may not end in sales.
Being empathic, being a good listener is the heart of marketing.
Creativity is also a good marketing skill.
If you are hungry, I have a sabdwich. That is marketing.
Niching is offering a certain sandwich.
What kind of sandwich is also Marketing.
Seeing if you are a good fit, like romance.
That way you get the pushiness out.
Marketing us the romance of getting to know your customers.
Relationship of mutual benefit.
You provide a Newsletter, he subscribes.
Marketing is building a relationship that may end in slaes.
Life’s too short to deal with people you don’t like.
Both want a fit. Saying that you are looking for a fit takes the pushiness out of marketing.
Telling people how you can meet their needs is loving.
Relationship building in an area of trust and intamicy.
First date is coffee in a public place.
A 45 minute zoom
A beneficial mutual relationship.
Freely exchange time money and services.
Not only is marketing not evil,
Not marketing is evil!
Marketing is an ethical imperative.Telling people you can meet their needs is a good thing.
Marketing is a form of self care.
Not learning marketing is a subtle form of self abuse. You re harming yourself and you are keeping your gift from other people if you don’t market.
If you learn you don’t fail. You always learn
You need to see the value what you do, see how it benefits people, then there is no guilt in receiving money for it.
If you don’t feel what you offer is a good thing , and you continue to offer it anyway, you lack integrity. If you don’t believe in your product, don’t sell it. Have some integrity. Only offer what you believe in.
Seeing marketing as unethical and not realizing there is an ethical way of marketing can hold your succes back big time. I have been looking for a solution for a long time, and he nailed it in one video.
He makes many more wonderful comparisons, so take a look:!
The second video is brilliant as well:
Find your niche and rock it!
Each one of us has a niche – an area of embodiment, teaching, coaching where you feel most comfortable, most at home. A practice you know inside out that you were born to offer…
Today’s session is about finding that niche, rocking it and becoming a respected name in that space.
The notes I made:
Get a niche
Why?
By trying to please everyone, please no one.
Would you trust a florist who was also a butcher and a yoga teacher?
No
Mark likes a hairdresser who just gives a haircut and that’s it.
Someone else may like chatty, friendly hair dressers
Erica, with whom Mark presents this video. likes one in between
You can have many interests, but you are known for what you choose.
Choose what you can put out there.
Your niche is for people like you.
Who do you love working with and who are you good at working with.
That’s your niche.
Usually you feel your way to it, see who’s drawn to you, see who is happiest with your services and who you are happiest serving.
I also like how he stresses that giving freebies is giving freebies. It should not be with the hope you will sell in the back of your mind. That will give it a creepy feeling.
And Erica says you should not tie your self worth on whether or not you sell. So don’t feel inferior if you don’t sell, and don’t get arrogant if you do, Mark adds. He gives a money back guarantee, that’s how sure he is of his method, and I can see why.
In the third session he gives tips about good marketing and copy writing and emphasizes he inner work that needs to be done to remove the blockages against marketing. He gives some exercises for that as well, good stuff.
Mark shares here what he does to make sure he stays authentic. He reads out loud al emails before he sends them as well as all copy write material, and asks: “does this sound like me?”
If you feel like a d*** when you speak out your website or your emails, then you are probably not being authentic.
Marketing has to solve a problem.
Who loves what they do but are s*** at selling it?
Better than saying who is professional at their work and you are not good at marketing.
Get the word “I” out of your marketing. People don’t care .about you. They just care how they can benefit.
Get the jargon out.
Copy writing:
Know your niche so you can speak their language and the benefits that would appeal to them. Do that authentically. That is 90 percent of what any copy writer will teach you.
He kind of messes up his own point when he compares marketing to selling yourself,. That was the whole point. You are not selling yourself. The idea that you are is what makes us cringe at marketing, But in his earlier sessions he explains, it’s not you. It’s a product or service you created that you are offering, it’s not you. You are not for sale, You are invaluable. Just your creation, your product, your sandwich, that you can help someone with who is hungry.
I could even go as far as saying marketing is answering to Yeshua’s call to be peacemakers. Meeting needs is also being a peacemaker. His call to be neighbors. Meeting people’s needs is also being a neighbor. To shout from the rooftops what Yeshua says in secret, because noone puts a lamp under a bushel. You get your treasures from the attic, dust them off, and put them on display and make them available for whoever needs them. That’s using your talents to get more instead of burying them, and we all know how that ended for the lazy servant. So ethical marketing really is being obedient to Yeshua, and thus a spiritual practice.
Otherwise another excellent session from Mark Walsh.
Day 4:
The Marketing Dojo sessions are for coaches, trainers, facilitators – anyone working with the body through yoga, dance, martial arts, meditation etc. But more specifically, people wanting to: • Get more (and better) clients • Build a better relationship with money • Learn how to sell your work more authentically • Actually enjoy selling your work and passion • Earn a healthy, sustainable income doing what you love https://ethicalmarketing.coach
In this session Mark recaps what marketing is:
Trust buidling , relationship building, meeting a need.
Marketing can be love.
Marketung is live
Not marketing is a selfish, evil thing to do.
Let people know how you can help them.
Not everyone, it’s about the fit.
A match is a fit between the buyers needs and the sellers genius.
The need is the problem theywant solved, and also their need and style.
Which problem you solve for who and in what way?
What special sauce do you have?
The special ingredient is you.
If you are you, you have no competition Erica says.
If you want no competition, be more and more you.
Look at your own history, untangle your own wound.
Erica tells about her journey:
But why are these women burning out.
They are too nice.
Once she had that phrase, all the how of marketing fell in place..
Good marketing comes from your pain.
Mark cannot market on confidence because he has always been comfident.
He does do marketing because he feels he was rubbish in that.
Look what you can enjoy.
Give yourself 3 months.
How much time and emotional energy does it take before it gives you back.
If you are using social media for sales, that’s not good.
If you use it for relationship buidling it is.
For him facebook was playing. And when it dod not feel like playing, he stopped.
Facebook adds are very targeted.
Are you demonstrating value by being generous on facebook?
Podcast is broadcast but does not bring many relationshipos.
Erica has an open group. Because she likes long, deep relationships.
Sell to yourself 5 years ago.
Notice what lights you up, and also find your heart break.
Instagram
The test for the kind of client you want to serve: would you like to have lunch with them? If not, then it’s not your customer.
You can only build relationships if you are authentic
4 values that will get attention in marketing:
useful, touching, funny, prvocative,
It will no get attention if it is not one of those 4.
The most important, is authentic.
And the most important thing is not to sell immediately.
If you think social media is for selling, you are doing it wrong.
If in doubt be useful.
Clubhouse is the new thing.
You can als mux them.
Email is 100 times better than social media.
Your email list is much better.
Most of what you blog will be ignoerd.
Do a post, if people like it improve it, if people really like it make it a course.
To be known in cmmunity show up regularly.
You have to keep showing up, which means you have to like it
Consistency.
You don’t have to do social media.
Does social media establish your authority?
Does it give you trust in your community.?
All marketing is about building safety.
Do I have my customers interest at heart, or am I simply trying to extract money from them?
If you are a good fit, I want your money, and it is a win win.
It is either win win or lose lose.
Win lose is also lose lose because someone will talk badly about you and lose you 10 customers.
Refer people who are not a good fit to others.
Notice when you get corrupt. It happens in a small way before it happens in a big way.
You lose your heart.
You can feel it in your body, and other people will feel it too.
It’s alright. You don’t need this sell.
Another will come.
When you are traumatised, trust is broken.
Comes from a scarcity mindset.
Sith: is smash and grab
jedi is long term relationship.
Brave, vulnerable
Here is day 5
The Marketing Dojo sessions are for coaches, trainers, facilitators – anyone working with the body through yoga, dance, martial arts, meditation etc. But more specifically, people wanting to: • Get more (and better) clients • Build a better relationship with money • Learn how to sell your work more authentically • Actually enjoy selling your work and passion • Earn a healthy, sustainable income doing what you love https://ethicalmarketing.coach
You have gifts and it is nice to bring them in the world.
There is a flow that you are healthier and happier if you follow a mission from Our Heavenly Father (that’s what I say, Mark called it differently).
Erica: Describes being able to market as a reconnection to an internal sense of worth that is independent of other people’s acceptance or rejection.
Listen to this
George Kao gives the 80/20 rule. Do 80 % free, 20% paid.
He also talks about having to detox from business school because of the phony marketing techniques taught there.
Another valuable session. with Mark, clearly an ethical coach.
Mark Walsh highly recommends George Kao. I see why. Check this:
George Kao says: if you are genuinely interested you are genuinely interesting to your audience.
He compares your ideal audience as friends that you are comfortable with, instead of keeping up a front. You can be yourself.
Be with your audience as if you are with a dear friend. Don’t try to get attention. Be yourself and see who shows up. Run facebook adds or instagram adds, and your ideal audience will spread the word about you.
On a side note: It is actually the King James version that mistranslates this text by saying the love of money is the root of all evil, and then people misquote that again into money is the root of all evil.
Service is what service can I provide that the world needs.
Stewardship is having self restraint to spend our money wisely.
But not all of them are, so be wise in how you approach all this. Never invest more than you can afford, no matter how much pressure there is.
If you want information, you can google it for free. If you want friends, if you need to pay people to work with you, they aren’t friends. And if they claim all your wins and blame you for all your fails even if you failed while following their advice, that’s not helping, that’s credit hogging. Frankly, you should not even want to be paid to allow that, much less pay others to do that to you. Even if you don’t have money, you can learn a lot drom free webinars, websites and books. Don’t go for expensive programs if you can’t pay for them .People can go broke from those , as you can see here:
So be careful, use your common sense, don’t do anything that doesn’t feel 100% right and don’t invest what you can’t afford, including your time.
I think the best way to summarize the difference between reliable and unreliable coaches is: does what they say align with Yeshua’s Teaching or not. In other words, does it align with doing for others what you would wish they would do for you? Does it align with loving Our Heavenly Father above all else with all your soul, all your mind, all your heart and all your strength, in other words is it fair, true, loving and healthy?
Sometimes it is a mix. In that case, politely confront them with what does not. Then you both learn.
Are they telling you to not listen to logic, to ditch your friends and family? To ignore your talents in order to sell their products? Then they are dangerous. Get away.
Look around. Do you have friends who have fallen for schemes like this? Be there for them if they want to come out. They will need you.
The warnings are for MLM’s and fake guru’s, but the dangers of so called legit institutions and companies are just as big.
See:
Plenty of reason to transition away from such industries.
Unfortunately, this corrupt way of thinking is everywhere, even in churches:
The Dark World of Megachurches
1Feb 27, 2022
James Jani1.01M subscribersSUBSCRIBEDMegachurches, Televangelists, and the Prosperity Gospel… those were things that I had never heard of before… until I stumbled across an infamous interview with Kenneth Copeland by Lisa Guerrero from Inside Edition. What ensued after was a dive into rabbit hole unlike any other, from corrupt preachers, to lavish lifestyles, to claims of miracle healings, to cult-ish followings, and New Age/New Thought concepts. This… is the dark world of Megachurches.
Not everyone wants to start their own business. You may well think of working for an ethical company.
Here is some advice from an actual recruitment officer who teaches this at a university on how to go about your job interview
You are not a failure if you have a 9 to 5. Anyone doing honest work is a hero, and can feel very good about it and about him or herself, and should. As long as you are true to yourself and your ideals,you are doing great! Not so much so if you are judging others. Our salvation depends on it, so don’t judge but love!
Epel ES, Blackburn EH, Lin J, Dhabhar FS, Adler NE, Morrow JD, Cawthon RM. Accelerated telomere shortening in response to life stress. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2004 Dec 7;101(49):17312-5. doi: 10.1073/pnas.0407162101. Epub 2004 Dec 1. PMID: 15574496; PMCID:Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A,PMC534658 DOI: 10.1073/pnas.0407162101
4WINS4U 
